Cynthia Henrie, MFT

Do you Need Therapy?

Also see this article: "When to Seek Therapy"

Since it is true that we all have reactions to traumatic events, how do you know if you need the help of a therapist? The easy answer to this question is to seek out a therapist if you are feeling like the impact of trauma is interfering in your life. There are some ways to know if you need therapy. Ask yourself the following questions:

• Do you wonder if therapy might benefit you?
• Do you want someone to talk with? Do you want extra support from someone who doesn't know you personally and is going to just focus on your problems, not theirs?
• Do you have low self-esteem or feel bad about yourself?
• Are you having problems in your relationship(s)?
• Do you feel depressed, anxious or worry a lot?
• Have you been raped or sexually assaulted? Do you avoid talking about it or is it "haunting" you?
• Are you a victim of a violent crime? Do you avoid talking about it or is it "haunting" you?
• Are you a survivor or childhood physical or sexual abuse, neglect or emotional abuse? Do you think it is still effecting you? Do other people tell you that it might be impacting you even when you don't think so?
• Am you jealous of people giving your boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other attention even if you know they are just friends?
• Has someone you loved recently died or died a long time ago but you haven't been able to grieve? Do you need a place to talk about this?
• Do you feel sad, anxious,  moody or angry often?
• Do you cry a lot, feel hopeless, worthless?
• Do you avoid your feelings?
• Do you frequently feel afraid or scared?
• Do you have trouble leaving your house or being in large crowds? Do you have easily overwhelmed in grocery stores or other larger stores? Do you ever feel like you have to leave because it is too overwhelming? Have you ever left a store because it was so overwhelming? Do you avoid crowds and/or large stores?
• Do you become really sad, anxious, angry, enraged, or emotional to the point that it seems excessive to you or to others?
• Do you use sex, drugs, alcohol, relationships, exercise, eating, etc. to avoid pain? If yes, click here.
• Are you addicted to anything? If you are not sure, click here.
• Do you feel out of control?
• Am you having trouble keeping things together?
• Do you have a pattern of problems in your relationships?
• Do you avoid having relationships because you don't want to get hurt or am afraid you will hurt someone?
• Am you afraid of men or women because you have been hurt in the past?
• Do you avoid sex?
• Do you have sex to avoid intimacy or forming a relationship with someone else? If yes, click here.
• Do you lie?
• Do you have uncontrollable outbursts of anger?
• Do you have rage?
• Do you have panic attacks or anxiety attacks? If yes, click here.
• Do you do things that you know are wrong but just can't seem to stop them and don't know why?
• Do you feel like you need help but are afraid to ask for it?
• Do other people suggest that therapy may be helpful to you?
• Would you like to get support from someone who has no other agenda than just to be there for YOU for a change?
• Are you having thoughts or fantasies about dying or want to kill yourself? If yes, click here.
• Do you ever cut, scratch, burn or hurt yourself intentionally? If yes, click here.
• Do you think about doing things to hurt yourself but don't act on it?
• Do you wish you could die, but wouldn't take your own life? Do you think about suicide, whether you would do or not?
• Have you been abused as a child or an adult?
• Have you ever hurt another person or an animal? If yes, click here.
• Have you ever abused someone like you were abused? If yes, click here.

• Have you ever had sexual contact with a child or teen? If yes, click here.

• Do you get so angry that you want to hurt another person?
• Do you steal?
• Do you often feel as though you are not fully present, like you are in a fog or everything around you feels surreal? If yes, click here.
• Does time pass and you don't know what happened when it passed? If yes, click here.
• Do you ever feel like, or wonder that maybe there is someone else inside my head or do you have other identities? If yes, click here.
• Do you still have imaginary friends that are real to me even though you am older than 10? If yes, click here.

    If you answered yes to any of these questions, you could benefit from therapy. Some of the questions assess trauma responses that are mild but disruptive to your life, and other of the questions ask about more serious problems. If you answered "yes" to the disruptive questions, it is still a good idea to seek out help. The list contains a variety of trauma reactions from varying levels of traumatic responses. So, for example, you may have problems with anxiety and depression, relationship problems, and feel generally out of control, but seem to be somehow holding it together. You would find therapy very helpful and enjoyable because you would see results fast.

    If you are being abused by someone else or are abusing someone else, then you definitely need the help of a therapist. The more items that you answered "yes" to, the more likely you should consult a therapist, but if you answered "yes" to any of the "you have hurt or fantasized about hurting someone else" you definitely should contact me or another therapist. Don't wait. If you are thinking about killing yourself, call me or anther therapist NOW! Don't wait. Therapy is best for helping prevent crisis or more problems.

    It is tough to initially seek help from a therapist, even if you have gone to see a therapist in the past. Don't worry, this is normal. No one likes to ask for help, but if you don't ask, you will continue to suffer. It is worse to suffer than to admit you need help. Also, know that it is very common for people to see a therapist even if it isn't necessary. Most therapists have more people who see them for support than because they "NEED" a therapist. It is helpful to have someone who isn't asking for something in return from you. That is a big advantage of therapy - having a person who is focused on your well-being, who doesn't know everyone else in your life. That person is just there for you!

***If you fantasize about sex with children, teens (if you are an adult), or violent sex with another person, get help. If you have had sexual contact with children or teens, it is in your best interest to ask for help from a therapist. This is also true if you hit, slap, punch or push other people, children or animals. The sooner you ask for help, the better off you will be. If you are scared to ask for help, know that everyone is afraid to ask for help. This is normal. you am a therapist who is experienced in working with these types of problems, and if we are not a good match, you can refer you to someone who will be. But no matter what, call me or another therapist for help, even if you think you don't need it. Pick up the phone and reach out.